There is one mindset shift you can make that will change the game for you when it comes to having goals. This is one mental tweak that can give you more motivation, more joy, and the ability to get more done. It’s something that if you can truly master and believe in it, it will shift the entire way you think of goals and growth.
About a month ago I heard something that really clicked with me. One of the youtubers I watch, Ed Mylett, talked about the reason a lot of people set goals. He said that a lot of people approach their goals with a mindset of trying to fix themselves, instead of having the mindset of “I’m already good! I’m already pretty cool.” and just trying to make themselves a little better than they already are.
I could relate, and I think a lot of you can too.
People like us, who are really ambitious and driven, sometimes set goals because they believe they aren’t good enough, rather than setting goals from a place of already knowing they’re good enough and just trying to make themselves a little bit better, more effective, or just closer to their dreams.
This is very detrimental because the belief that you aren’t enough as a person will stick with you, no matter what you learn or accomplish. It will always make you feel inferior. You’ll never feel good enough, successful enough, skilled enough, pretty enough, productive enough, no matter what you do.
That’s a problem.
You may even overwork yourself because you think there’s this destination that you need to get to, a place of success or achievement, that you should be at if you truly are enough. But the reality is that the destination doesn’t exist—you’ve made it so it can’t exist.
By convincing yourself that you’re not enough over and over and over you make it into a habit. Eventually the habit will turn into a belief. And you can’t achieve great things and reach your goals when you believe that you’re not enough or when you’re convinced you don’t have what it takes.
This belief leads you to set new goals every year, hoping that this will be the year you become “good enough”. But because you’re approaching your goals from a place of fear, you’ll probably set goals that are too high or unrealistic. Then you’ll feel down on yourself when you don’t complete them. You just knew you weren’t enough, you knew you couldn’t do it. Well, you’ll just have to set another goal. Obviously you need some work.
It’s a vicious cycle, and an unhappy one at that.
ut–what if you set goals from a place of being okay with who you are, even liking yourself, and thinking you’re kinda cool? What if instead of the “cure” or the “fix me plan”, goals were “project: make me even better”? I know that sounds a bit prideful, but God thinks you’re pretty amazing and you should be proud of who he’s made us to be!
So no, you’re not being prideful when you say, “I am enough. I don’t need to fix myself. Sure, there are things about me that need to be improved and changed, but that’s for God and me to do together. I am already loveable and capable of giving love and changing lives.”.
Wouldn’t this mindset make you feel a lot different about your goals? Wouldn’t you feel so much more excited and motivated? Not to mention the fact that all the time and energy you would normally spend worrying about how you aren’t good enough and trying to find ways to fix yourself could be put into actually pursuing your goals!
Having this mindset also means that you’re no longer in bondage to your goals. Yes, they are good and they help you grow, but you’re okay when they don’t go exactly to plan. You’re even okay when you can’t focus on them at all. You’re not lacking as a human being without them. You can still love, you can still serve God and others, you can still make a difference in the world. And with this mindset you’ll probably find it a lot easier to do these things once you don’t put so much value into your goals and don’t rely on them to “fix you” anymore.
Because your goals don’t define you.
Whether or not you complete them, whether or not you set big goals, and whether or not your goals are more or less spectacular than someone else’s doesn’t matter because you know—and believe—that you are not your goals.
Accomplishments are still wonderful. Disappointments are still disappointing. But, no matter what happens, you don’t have to feel like a failure if something doesn’t go to plan, because you can know that no matter how your goals go, you are still a child of God and he still loves you, enough to send Jesus to the cross so that you can be reconciled to him, so you could have a relationship with him (Romans 8:38-39, John 3:16, 2 Corinthians 5:18). And that has nothing to do with the goals you set, the things you accomplish, or the milestones you reach. Nothing. And it’s the most important part of your identity.
So yes, goals are good, goals are wonderful. They help you grow and they make life exciting. But, my friend, you are already great, you’re already SO lovable, and you already have what it takes to make a massive impact on others. You don’t need goals to fix you. You are already good enough.
So as you think about this new year and what you want to accomplish during the next twelve months, know that you are “enough” the way you are, and that you don’t need a bunch of goals and achievements to “fix you”. Create your goals with a mindset of making a good thing just a bit better, like you’re just adding to the pile of wonderfulness that is you. Do that, and you’ll probably find that goals can be a lot more enjoyable. You’ll no longer be trying to fix yourself, you’ll just be having fun with what’s possible for you and your life!
Happy goal setting, my friends!
